The darkest hour of my life just has turned into many dark nights. This darkness that is within me has to die. Nickki ask yourself what are you feeding it to make it thrive. Maybe because you treaded on pride and he had to serve you a little piece of humble pie. This darkness has literally taken over my mind. Could this be the soundtrack of my life. I war with my thoughts and my spirit. I wonder could this picture be painted any more clearer. There is a battle going on beyond the naked eye. Silence seems to be my loudest cry. I mean I put the pen to the paper and still can't seem to write. This may be one of my hardest fights. It's like I had to be physically decline, so I can be spiritually elevated. I know my flesh and my spirit can't share the same lane. If I allowed the flesh complete control surely my reward will already be compensated. My spirit starved while the flesh ate. I am pressed on every side so it must mean, I am about to catch my big break. I was sure victory would prevail over defeat. But one more thing he is not done testing me. Everything around me gets quiet. Even the angels up above can't stop this silence. My sinful nature again has started a riot. God literally took the pen out of my hand to stop writing. Now here my thoughts have went back into hiding. He has turned the knob all the way down on mute.How can Yah execute a plan I won't allow him to do. I have to literally let my thoughts cry. Yah has to drain out all the lies that the enemy tells me from the time I open my eyes. I know you didn't think because I was a Christian that I would sugar coat it this time. There is so much negativity that clouds my mind. I guess that's how Jesus felt when he died. The moments right before he said his fleshly good-bye's. The darkness may have made him feel forsaken. Blood running down his face. Nothing could be done until he finished his race.I take heart in the fact that even in his darkest moment what was sent to destroy him did not last. He rose up out of that darkness. It was the light of the world that drove him to that place. It is in the believers destiny to prevail no matter what obstacle is thrown in the way. The darkest moments of our lives even when we can't quit comprehend why God is taking us through these trials. I know that this is beneficial to our lives. Darkness makes us grow and not because we were there in it but because we came out of it. If you are experiencing this season of darkness as I did. Know that in the midst of it all your savior experienced it and rose again.So thank him!
John 1:5 KJV
And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not